tmrw im having wedding escort . its the whole day . from morning till night . must be at clemanti at 8am . but im not sure what tyme is the thing end . so yeah . will be going with my partner - hidayah . she is doing escort with me too . after escort , idk what should i do there till night . maybe help them with things . hope im okayy tmrw . it has been so all i never do escort then now must do . will be active in doing wedding escort . nehh , just to fill my free tyme . in the past tyme , i always slack at Sengkang . but i never lahh due to some problem there . so yeah . so now got free tyme . need work .

when work , got money then can go anywhere i want . can even follow dear to malaysia . since he always leave me alone here and he went back to malaysia . hahah . get it ?? i just cant be apart from hym . i love hym too much lahh . what to do , lyfe still have to move on . hahah . kayy m lets talk about yesterday .

yesterday was superb great . we didn't fight . AT ALL . im sooooooooo happy about that . hope we will happy lyke that till the day i close my eyes . awwwww . so touched . hahah . so yeah , yeasterday we laugh together , we smile together , we even seat together in class from the first class till the last class . so sweet of us . really2 , our classmate also said that we are sweet . LOL . that tyme , i really feel lyke dont want to end school . i want to stay there forever just want to continue to be happy with hym . dont want to stop the happiness . hope monday i can get those stuff again . i'll sure be happier . heheh .

currently chatting with liana , facebook and update blog . nothing much to do . tired maybe . didn't even sms dear . dear also never sms me . sad liow . not sad lahh . i just feel lonely . yeah . lonely is the right word . well , at home i dont really mix with my family . schoolmates ?? i only be with them during school tyme . afters school , we make our own ways . dear ?? idk how to say lahh . we dont really spent our tyme together in school . after school , he will go out with hys own classmate(my classmate too) . but i dont really close with them . dont talk much with them lahhh actually . if follow them also they will go lan and play dota(game) . non stop play game . so dont really spent tyme with anyone . in another words , im in my own lyfe . thats why mostly i will feel lonely . just lyke now . now im feeling lonely . deardear ?? he didn't know that im lonely . of cox sad when in this kind of situation . eu wont want to be in this kind of situation . seriously . eu will feel lost and lyke no one is there for eu . more worst , as in eu are the only one in the world . not even with animals . seriously . just lyke mie . i feel so lost lyke im alone in this world . *crying*

so due to she dont lyke us to talk with hys boyf so i didn't talk to hym . when he talked to me , i walked away . hahaha . dont want to talk much lahh horr . i still got my dear to take care of . so yeah . hahahah . after liana's training , we went back . i went home and liana went town to meet her friends . nothing much .

going out with liana and zaf tmrw . donnoe going where . maybe town . should be . donnoe lahh . haven plan yet . maybe going , maybe not . see how . LOL . dear not going anywhere but confirm he will go out cox he cant stay home even for 1 hour . hahah . seriously . LOL . so im not sure that he will stay home . hmmmmm . so lets just wait and see .

haa ! see ! told eu ready . dear just told me that he got a feeling wanna go out tmrw . told eu that he cant stay home even for 1 hour . hahaha . he is good at going out . trust me . he is . hahaha . everyday ask me out but i never entertain . hahah . too lazy to go out . one day i need to teach hym how to stay at home for 1 WHOLE DAY . hahaha . cute us right .? i know . but im cuter then hym . hahaha .

today was fun . damn fun cox we didn't fight at all . okayy lahh . till here . wanna sleep . tc .

went to school alone at first . saw bistie - liana at bishan mrt . walked to school with her but didn't talk much . on our way , ain tagged along . went to the canteen to buy some food and drink . saw sayang - tyty at canteen . 910am went up to class . was late OF CAUSE ! saw dear in class . was shocked cause dear was on tyme for class . make me more shocked was baby sit in front of the teacher . donnoe what was he dream last night till he change lyke that . hahah . after school , went bishan library with sayang(S) - eqa , tyty , ain , ridhwan and ayie . ace(tyty's ex) and shafiq(eqa;s boyf) also was there with us .

cute hym ! but sorry , im more cuter . hahah . bluek ! its the fact okayy . most people said that to me . hahah . so yeah . this few days our r/s was down . today was totally down . ZERO ! fire with fire . that was what we are today . haiss . was damn sad about it lahh . reached home , decide to sms dear and solve the problem . yeah , we do . problem solved . hope after this no fights anymore . really want the happiness . well , he is the guy that i dream of . hope he appreciate me and respect me as hys wife lyke how i respect hym lyke my husband and appreciate hym .

cant wait to start a new love story with dear . donnoe how will it look lyke . hope its a nice one . haiss . i donnoe what am i talking about . hahah . well , i feels lyke not coming to school tmrw . donnoe why liow . feeling bad now . i think i wanna get sick . fever maybe ...? who knows . feels cold . donnoe wanna go school or not . still thinking liow . haiss . cant promise anything lehh .

currently hubby was out . should be at J8 . with shaun and yuhan . our classmates . they went to watch movie . donnoe what movie lahh . hahah . the movie is still running now and he can still check hys Facebook . Fish hym . hahah . but i still love hym . LOL . well , what can i say , i love hym so much . DAMN much . haha . dont get jealous ! heee . *smile* he said that he will be home at 12am . its lyke sooooooo late sia . by the tyme last train has ended and bus has ended too . so how he will get back ?? by taxi ??? maybe ..... no one knows . he wont tell me unless i ask hym . LOL . well m he said that he got something to tell me and its a good thing . what can it be ...? i have no idea at all . but i still want to know it now . i dont lyke to wait . not even wait for something good . idk why . i just cant wait . thats all . but still dear dont want to tell me . haiss . sad liow , how ?? what should i do now ? grrr ! wow ! today's post is long sia . wth !

tmrw start school at 8am . will end at 11am . yeah ! cool huh . hehehe . after school should be hang around with my sayang(S) . if not will go home straight . meet dear ?? donnoe liow . dont think so lahh . kayy lahh , till here 1st okayy . tired liow .

today school started at 8am . end at 12pm . but since mrs lim didn't came in , so we end at 10plus . hahah . so after class i went to library with eqa , ain and ridwan . ridwan is my classmate . im happy to get to know hym this year . he is really a nice guy . just get to know that he at currently attached and after i hear hys love story , i can see that he got a good future . lucky the girl who gets hym . seriously ! we talked alot , we laughed alot too . he lyke to make jokes too . thats the fun part of hym . heheh .

i was happy that i and dear didn't fight today . since he came to school till i was out with my sister , we didn't fight at all . happy all the way . i was happy that he light up my day today . i tot the happiness can continue till the day i close my eyes . but i was wrong . the happiness cant last long . its end here . the HAPPINESS ! i lost my happiness again . i wanted to tell hym something so i asked hym to come back home faster . so i waited for hym to on9 . cox he said that he is making hys way back home . so i waited for hym . i tot he wont take long . soon its lyke 9pm ready and he haven reach home . so i didn't feel anything weird but i just asking hym where is he . and from there he said i wanted to start a fight . its lyke , come on lahh . eu have make me waited for eu and now w/o any explanation and eu acted as if nothing bad happen . i donnoe how eu did it . i just need my happiness . thats all . till when i need to be sad ???

what im thinking now is to sleep and will never wake up again ....

never mind , later after offline then i will go and eat . hahah . didn't talk much with my grandfather this few days . donnoe why . maybe i was busy with my school stuff . need to spent more tyme with hym . donnoe why . i just miss spending tyme with my grandfather . hehehe . so sweet right me ?? i know . hahah .

lets talk about my deardear . hahah . today we didn't fight but i was angry with hym . totally angry with hym . he made the deal to stop smoking . but he didn't tell me that he is still smoking and trying to cut down . so i tot he stop smoking TOTALLY . and i did it too . i stop smoking TOTALLY ! ive stop buying , ive stop smoking . but get to know that he is still trying to cut down . i was sooooooo pissed off . so i decide to buy one for myself . just in case . seriously , im not lying . atleast he know that i buy . hahha . buy he donnoe where i put . hehehe . will put in my locker . wont open my locker when his around . hahah . he wont come to my locker for spot check . cox he dont have my key and my locker i share with ain so yeah . hahaha .

but neber mind , when he really stop then i will stop . i know im easy to control . so yeah . no worries . i know he is angry right now but dear , atleast i told eu . not lyke eu . i have to fyne out myself . so its a deal okayy . ? eu stop TOTALLY then i will stop TOTALLY too . eu dont have to be angry cox i easy stop and start one . ive try before . so no worries . i still love eu . hahah . thats my fav line when im with hym . hehhe .

do we look/sound lyke a sweet couple ?? do we ?? hahah . i think so lahh . but not everyday lahh . cox we FIGHT everyday liow . so its hard to see us happy whenever we meet each other . really hard to see us happy . seriously . donnoe why . maybe we both love to fight , okay . then fight again then okay again . hahah . some tyme i fyne us so cute .

kay lahh , till here first . love eu baby .

yesterday had a great fight with dear . normal thing happen again . people mouth . normal ! people mouth's we cant stop them . they are just jealous of us so decide to try to make us be part . so they will make anything just to see us part . now , might be "gosip" im having a fair , so whats next i still wonder . just cant stop them . i just not strong enough to stop them . i wonder when will all this stop hitting my r/s . i just want to last long with my dear . why i just cant get my happiness ??still finding for my happiness . :'(

when promise must do it . so i do it . my grandfather woke me up at 7am . so i when to get myself ready . went out of my home sweet home and went to meet my dear . i was still sleepy at that time .

so we walked to school . went to my locker and took my file . he went to took his file too . my locker is at level 3 and his at level 2 . thats our different . but soon i will have to change my locker . i will be sharing locker with dear . but donnoe when . due to we ALWAYS fight , i need to think many time of changing locker . scared if we fight , he ask me to take all mt stuff . who knows right .

just now we had a little fight . its about small matter of cause . for many years ive wear a ring . even before i get to know him , ive wear a ring . THE SAME RING . but that can became an issue . i understand how eu feel when your love one wear their ex's stuff . but eu have to understand me too . im not used of not wearing a ring . it will make my finger look ugly and i will feel weird . but now i will try not to wear the ring . your feeling is important to me . i have to take good care of your feeling .

i just wonder if your parent can accept me . who knows . im a malay and he is a chinese . there's big different . alot of things to change . thats what makes me worried more . i really wanna last with dear . what if his parent cant accept me ??? i dont want to be apart with hym , thats for sure . this problem will always playing in my head .

today was fyne . i was happy with hym at first . the whole day we was happy . damn happy . no fight at all . but when came to BPF , i used the comp and went to Facebook for awhile . so i went to check on dear's wall . and i saw nana's comment . idk why but i was feeling damn fucking angry when i read the comment . is lyke wth ! i swear i was angry . and dear didn't even say anything to me about it . he just walked away lyke that . its hurting me .

then during S&W , i heard hys conversation with myra . what i heard was about msg , i donnoe who msg who and didn't reply . its more hurting me . is lyke i didn't msg any guy , and he did it to me . why he cant think about my feeling ??? maybe he thinks but he don't know how to show it to me . or maybe he is too friendly to people around hym . but why must hym ??? he know he has a girl to take care of , have to make her happy . isit he dont care or dont want to care ...??? come on dear , i really want our r/s to last long forever . please , don't be too friendly to people . think about my feeling . if i can think about your feeling , why cant eu ??? everything have a limit . eu talk to other people more then me . isit fair to me ??? you are not giving me my rights .

im not blaming you . i know i have my part to play . i have to think about your feeling too . i know that . if you continue lyke this , how ??? will we go far ??? i know i can but will eu ?? can euu ??? think about it dear . i really wanna change for eu but eu have to change with me too . i wont change alone .

sad + angry + hurt .

just now i came for my 1st class abit late . dear came first . when i came to class , i tot dear will come to me or something . but he didn't . ohh no , he do came to me but just to pass me my file . he didn't even talk to me . never ask me why am late . NOTHING ! he didn't ask me anything . i was sad + angry . i was really angry when i heard that dear was having fun talking with them . but nothing that i can do .

i gt nothing more to say . getting angry now so i better end here before i start talk nonsense .

listening to chinese songs . donnoe why . maybe miss dear to much . hahaha . listening to 5566 songs . i'm a BIG fan of them you know . hahaha . i have their VCD of movie and songs . i and my elder sister lyke to watch their movie again and again just because of we are their fans . kayy , lets stop talking about 5566 . hahaha .

pretty right this lady ??? how i wish i was her . confirm got alot of guy ran after . heheh . pretty sia . i LYKE her alot sia . seriously . eu guys look , not pretty mehh ??? pretty right . i know . hahaha .

dear is still outside . at hys friend house . donnoe do what . he said soon he will be making hys way home . due to he wanted to webcam with me . hehe . really miss hym liow . but donnoe if i cant wait till he reach home or not . haiss . now he didn't reply me at facebook . donnoe what is he doing . haiss . he lyke to make me feel worried . ishh ! very worried about hym liow . very single day i keep thinking of hym . he don't know about this cox i didn't tell hym before . how i wish i knows . haiss . miss hym damn lot . going to school with hym this monday . hopefully he won't be late . i don't want to be late liow . bad girl gone good . hehehe . not even meeting hym tmrw . idk why . anyway , im going out tmrw . with sara , zaf and liana . miss them lerrr . hehehe . kayy lahh , till here 1st okayy .

currently facebook and blog . nothing much to do . went school alone . having fun alone . listen t music without anyone disturb . hehhe . cool sia . eu guys have to try it too . eu will LOVEE it . seriously ! hahaha . okayy , wanna tell eu guys something . hahaha . i have to update my blog about hym . 21 post ! wth ! 21 POST ! everyday one post . die sia . but nevermind . i will try my very best to do the 21 post .. just to show how much i LOVEE hym . so yeah . heheheh . so lets start !

saw that pic on your left ??? that was how i was when he leave me just lyke that . he leave me without any guilty feeling . every single day i was down . all my friends tried to cheer me up . they do cheer me up but after some tyme , the sadness came back . everytime i came to class , i will always feel down , no mood to do EVERYTHING . not even talking to my friends . then day by day he get closer to me . as in he talks to me , make me smile and stuff . i was still hurt cox we jokes around as a friend not a lover . but now , its totally difference . saw pic on the right ?? that is me now . im feeling Fucking happy . i get what i wanted now . that is hym . hehehe . he finally came back to me . i was damn happy . didn't know that he would come back to me cox all my friends told me to move on . i've tried once to move on but i just can't due to my love for hym was still strong . so yeah . okayy lahh , till here 1st okayy . just wait for my 20 more post !

lets talk more about hym . my LOVEEE . what am i to hym ??? i donnoe . maybe i dont mean anything to hym . idk cox he didn't tell me after we had a gooooooooooood fight . he is really a nice guy . EVERY single day he will make me smile . he is really are cheerful guy . he will always put a smile on his face no matter if he is having problem . but the thing is , he is very noisy in class . heheh . and still i love to hear his voice . donnoe why . hahah . he LOVEEEEE to disturb people too . mostly he will disturb girls lahh .

his birthday is on april . now days he LOVEEEE to say "call me , korkor." idk why he lyke to say that . to everyone he will say that in class of cox . hahah . to me too he will say . but now days he didn't entertain me that much . ive hurt hym what of cox he will stay away from me . i know i was wrong . i shouldn't have done that . i was too stupid to do all those thing . seriously . if only eu give me your tyme for me to let all my feelings out to eu . i just can't bare to be away from eu . i really LOVEE you with full of my heart . i wonder if i can be with eu lyke how we used to be .

today reach home at 8pm . went grandlink with zaf and liyana . had fun with them . finish school at 4pm . after school , straight go grandlink . meet zaf at paya lebar . we got room 41 . was not bad . only the mic got some problem that make me hate my voice . but no matter what , we still had fun . idk them but i had fun alot . but at the same tyme , i was think about hym - my babyboy . i really miss hym .

i keep thinking and asking myself "why are we far apart?" i just cant bare to loose hym . i really love hym that much . i know day by day hys love towards mie has became lesser and lesser . bt i donnoe how and what goes wrong . im totally willing to change for hym . i really do . but i just donnoe what type of girl he want . yeah , its true that we cant communicate well . is not that i dont want to communicate with hym . he has to understand , LOW PROFILE !

if not , i would just hug hym anywhere and anytime i want . i just dont bare to see hym from far . if can i want to let EVERY SINGLE ONE in this world knows that he is mine and i love hym so much . is just that he need to give some tyme to overcome all .

dear , i swear i just love eu and no one else . i still need eu in my lyfe . i'll change to the girl that eu want as long as eu wont let me go . please dear . i dont want to be apart with you . i just want eu to love me lyke how eu used to love mie . please dear , im begging eu . swear , i will change just for eu . plase dear . i really dont knoe how to live without eu . please dear . IM TRULY LOVE YOU .

nothing much lahh nari . stakat dok rumah and layan sedare aje . hmmmm . tadi malam i mimpi burok sia . tapi camm cite cartoon lakk pulakk . hahha . serious2 . maen bunoh2 sia . tapi yang bestnye it was all my siblings . kite 4 beradeq sia . kekek gyler siol mimpi tuuu . hahhaa . after mimpi tuu , i terbangon then teros tak brani nak tido alek sia . teros on tv and watch tv . hahahah . serious siol . takot gyler . kayy , its lyke seram cox bunoh2 but pikir2 alek kekek . hahahah .

kinda miss $%#@# sia . idk why tibe2 rase rindu kat die . haiss . padehal baru brape hari lepas jumpe die ceyyy . aduhhh . yelah , mane tak ceyy . selalunye die yang msg mie and layan mie what kannn . now die tak msg rase laen siol . donnoe lahh eyk . die cakap die g malaysia semalam . and he said that he will be back by today tapi till now lom dapat msg dari die . SEDIH SIOL ! F sia ! bile nie die nak alekk ...??? i dont think die akan alek by today .. mesti die alekk besok ceyy . tsk ! nampaknye besok nye outing cancel uhs nie . aduhhh ! dok rumah lagi . mendak siol gynie . besok dok rumah , sun pun dok rumah .!

what i know , besok hasanah ajak meet . lepak2 ! wth ! semalam baru lepak dengan die nak two of hys friends . sumpah tak kenal sape kawan die . hmmmm . boleh tahan mat rep lahh kawan2 die . friendly ??? boleh dikatekan lahh . but they tak bebual with mie pun . donnoe why . maybe dorang ingat i anti-social kot . donnoe lahh eyk . hmmmmm .

semalam before meet hasanah , i went to meet shamir . FB gua siol . fb bukan facebook tauu . ahhhhh . fb means FIRST BROTHER . hehhehe . yess2 , he's my first brother . kite rapat gyler sia . used to be uhs . sejak die dah tak lepak 188 lagi , mie and hym ade ciket kurang rapat uhs . susah nak meet mahhh . tapi ade lahh jugak meet die kat tempat laen . but now im free so i can go and meet hym anytime , anywhere . kecohh kannn . hahahhaah . semalam best gyler siol meet die . kite story2 . story2 dah macam brape tahun nak meet uhs . i talked alot . seriously i do . ahhahaa . abeh die nak dengar sal 188 so i story lahh what happen . hahahhaha . we went airport lahh ceyy . first tyme tau lepak2 kat airport . hahahah . dalam 6plus gytu kite gerak alek . i went to meet hasanah and he went to meet ahmad . ahmad sape ?? kawan die lahh dol .

today went school naek motor abang . since yesterday abang hantar me and amek me from school . but nari abang tak amek uhs . its nice g school naek motor . (bukan nak big f eyk) . nice because save duet ezlink . hahah . tapi this week aje lahh kot . kalau tak pokai sia me . siap kali abang hantar and amek dari school , kene upah diee 5 batang of smoke . lyke wth kannn . so abit sanggop naek mrt . LOL . kalau kadang2 tu cann lahh nak upah abang smoke . kalau hari2 pokai sia . cannot3 . hahahha .

till here dulu okayy . kak ana sebok uhs . heheheh . i'll end with this sweet thing okayyy .